November 23, 2018, 4:30 am. Petty theft. One perp, 20 year old latino male, 5’9″ was suspected Case No. 1812050-50 of stealing a laptop during amidst a black friday sale. After observing the attempted theft, the loss prevention officer escorted the perp to his office.

The perp denies any knowledge of illegal activity, but the officer on duty is able to resolve the situation by using enhanced interrogation techniques. After a long round of questioning and an intensive strip search, the loss prevention officer reports that the suspect is no longer a threat to the store or its property.

An agreement was met between the two, and the suspect was released without further legal consequences.