The Deep Feast is a playful exploration game that we can play with our partner(s). It is scalable, meaning we can play this game as deeply as we want or feel comfortable. We can incorporate this into a playful hook-up, or practiced with our soulmates, partners, or any variety of trusted sex buddies. We get out of our comfort zones and into a playful space, utilizing food and silent connection. Interestingly, food is also tied to the pleasure/rewards centers in our brains. When we combine sexual pleasure and food in an improvisational way, it opens up new patterns and erotic flow and new ways of feeling comfortable with each other. Ultimately, this allows us to have more relaxed, authentic, playful connections with our partners. As a result, our sex becomes naturally more playful and exploratory, and less indexed to familiar routines, roles, etc.

Frequently, if we are dining with an intimate partner, we rush through the process of eating and swallow as fast as possible in order to maintain a conversation, or to get it over with and get on with the evening, etc. By slowing the process down, we discover so much more about ourselves and what turns us on and makes us happy. It’s a way to practice deep presence in a fun kind of way.

To play this game, gather a variety of foods with different colors, textures and flavors.

Every bite that is consumed should be fed by the partner. So, no one eats with his own hands. This symbolizes trust and reliance on a partner, surrender, and being “fed” on multiple levels. Partners take turns, bite for bite, being fed by the other man. Get flirty. Get silly! Each partner, in his turn, will gesture somehow to his plate, which bite he wants. The giver will pick up the morsel and in some creative way, feed it to his partner. It usually starts by putting it into the receiver’s mouth, lingering, letting the fingers be sucked on, nibbled, etc. Giver, help the feast evolve by making little challenges for the receiver. Maybe put a bite in your navel, lie back and have the receiver lick it off. Feed bites to each other with your toes! Nuzzle each other and listen to the sensual sound of chewing and swallowing, neck to neck, savoring every part of the experience. Maintain eye contact whenever possible. Eventually, as the evening progresses, both parties are increasingly more undressed and eating off many different erogenous zones on the body, getting sexier and sexier.

Begin allowing yourself to be transported outside the normal boundaries of social interactions like routine sex and routine dining. Release expectations about how the sex will begin, who will initiate, what role one might take, etc. We want to uncover a new way of seeing each other. At this moment, maybe share intentions with each other or any final words before beginning to dine. From this moment onward, the event is without words, and communication is established by physical gestures, sexy noises, breaths, laughs, etc.

Try to stretch the feast to at least an hour or so of this kind of play. Save genital contact for much later in the feast to allow the anticipation to build and build.