Transgression is at the heart of desire. The very nature of Eroticism is that it stirs us from within the boundaries of our static self-containment. It is a current that swells within us and breaks our inhibitions into expression. Though, without obstacles, there can be no expression, no release of energy. Our Erotic natures are always bringing us to the brinks of our own boundaries–internalized barriers as well as rules from the outside. We need safety, yet we simultaneously crave risk. We want freedom, but we fear being fully known. It is precisely these paradoxes that shape the collective agreements referred to as “taboo.” This realm is much more of a gray area than we may realize, though it is calling each of us to leave behind civility of clear definitions and plunge into our shadows.

Many of us have felt these dilemmas in our formative male-male friendships. Desire arises and exerts itself in moments of close contact with our friends, often before we are willing to act upon it. For many men, the closest we could get to our initial longings was an indirect assertion by transgression: sneaking porn, spying on our brothers, cousins, friends, fantasizing about people that were “off limits,” or, in this case, rifling through a buddy’s laundry to find his cum stains or smell his scent.