Sex begins in the mind. It’s possible to build a fantastical connection with someone with only the sound of his voice. Actually, we dip into fantasy like this all the time. Maybe a coffee shop barista smiles at us in just such a way that, moments later, we find ourselves daydreaming about fucking him in the bathroom while his coworkers make lates. Maybe as we stroll down the street, we hear a man talking to his wife on a park bench and we wonder what the sound of his voice would be like telling her she is his whore while he fucks her from behind. It’s automatic, the ways in which humans spontaneously engage with the realm of fantasy utilizing the substrates of our daily human interactions. Often, men utilize hookup apps in this same way, enjoying the banter and the potential of sex more than an actual in-person meeting. For some, this is maddening, and for others, it is bliss.

In times past, men had fewer choices and were more often forced to rely on an underworld of fantasies than do men today in most Western countries. One such classic formative genre of gay fantasy sex is phone sex. Over the phone, we build complete narratives out of assumptions, wishes, longings, and projections from our own personal vaults of preferences. The central operative dynamic of phone sex is the liberal use of one’s voice as an instrument and the boldness of our filthy mouths that anonymity affords us. It is a testimony to the power of our minds to transform bare components into ecstasy.