De-objectifying sex: In order to fully enjoy partnered sex of any kind, we must stay connected to the realm of possibility. It’s a practice that we must cultivate to begin each day with the determination to “start over.” For many gay men, this can be difficult, having been through all kinds of individual and collective trauma. We may not know how to get in touch with possibility.
It is a two-fold pathway. First, we must acknowledge what stands in our way. It’s the shit we tell ourselves on the inside and how we project this onto others. If we don’t acknowledge it, it continues to surface in our actions and reactions, restraining our abilities to enjoy life and pleasure.
Then, we must get inspired by something that is full of awe and wonder. We must touch this place daily within ourselves in order to continue opening even in the face of our deepest formative wounds. Make it a daily practice to view, listen to, or be in contact with something that inspires you.